As a child, my brother used to say that when he was in the middle of telling a story he was making up. He used it as sort of a placeholder while he decided which direction his often fantastic stories would take him (and whatever adult would listen). This blog recounts reality the way I see it, but I haven't been writing lately because I haven't felt I had anything to say. Mainly, that is due to not really knowing what is next for me. It helps me to have an idea of where I am going with a story in order to fill in the middle parts. My life seems to be a lot like this; without a clear finish line, I find it difficult to head in any one direction. I hope that out of this lack of direction may come the clarity of purpose in what's to be the next chapter of my life. I'm optimistic, but realistic.
I quit working at the bike shop, which was difficult for me to do. I really have this strange attachment to bicycles, which I can easily see lasting the rest of my life. There are a lot of things to like about bikes, and the mechanical aspect seemed the most appealing to me. Bikes are simple machines, and working on them requires few specialized tools, but often a vast knowledge of the interactions between components. Most people who profess that they have this knowledge do not, and I've seen plenty of ignorance pass for gospel. Even with knowledge, a good mechanic can be betrayed by a poorly designed component, and the end result can appear the same.
In working at the shop, I enjoyed pursuing at least some level of perfection with each bike I repaired. (Of course, that level varied drastically with each instance!) The bikes were the easy part. People could be an entirely different story. Even though I felt I did my best to see that each customer had every need and want attended to, there were always going to be things that slipped through the cracks, creating an end result that could go off in any direction. I guess I could say that I was fortunate to go on for as long as I did without this happening. My good intentions could have been betrayed by misunderstandings at any point. What did happen, I will probably never really know, but things transpired which left me unable to effectively do my job any longer, and that was difficult for me for a while. I do belive that lies were told, and the people who told them know who they are.
I'm not saying this because I expect any justice to come of this. I've moved on. The next chapter of my life is yet to be written, but it's gonna take a while to get the editing right. I'm bound to have some restarts and reworks, maybe even throw a few pages in the trash, but eventually I'll get this novel written. Until then, I'm making it up as I go along, and so... and then..
just please bear with me.
