I'm trying desperately to find my motivation, although it keeps eluding me. I can't really even write this poor drivel without it. I'm confessing, to whoever reads this, that I currently ride as much as once a week, and no more. That's pathetic, I say. You can agree- it's true. Somewhere along the line, I got bogged down with the weight of this life's' "responsibilities" and haven't been able to shake them. In case you're wondering, it's a real tactile feeling that something is dragging me down. In reality, it's probably the poor nutrition and atrophy of muscles. It's physically uncomfortable. I want to blame someone or something for my condition (or lack of condition), but there is only me. Spring didn't go the way I had hoped, and now the race season is shot. At this point, I would settle for just getting out for a ride a few times a week, but even that has been a struggle. There always seems to be something of greater importance, or worse yet, the thought that some extra rest would do me good. It hasn't.
Somehow, I've got to get away from all of it. The TV, phone, job, computer, people... all of it, and just ride. Years ago, I saw a TV show featuring Jesse James. In the midst of his hand- hammering of a gas tank, he made a bold statement about his philosophy on his motorcycle builds, and how strongly he felt that they should not have accessories like cup holders and radios and such. He seemed to be saying that the more you add these things onto the bike, the more distracted and less pure the experience of riding would become. His minimalist approach brought focus to the rider, and through this they could feel more connected to the machine, the road, and the environment around them. His viewpoint on this seemingly trivial choice to not add accessories struck a chord with me: In cycling, I tend to eshew everything that is not absolutely necessary to survive. Packing for a ride changes according to the distance, weather, and even the route, but rarely do I haul around equipment that I don't use. Lately, it's occurred to me: that's the stand I've got to make, on the bike and off. I'm going to try to get back to the basics, the essentials that let the soul of the ride come though, unfiltered.
Of course, more recently Jesse hooked up with Sandra Bullock and then got a new show called "Jesse James is a Dead Man" in which he appears to have made the unfortunate transformation from lone wolf to total douche.
Man, I hope that's not what's happening to me.
